MB

Yes that time of the year again and the parties have started. Which means play for the boss and pain for me.
Needles seems to be the thing at the mo'. Although I did receive various other torments at the last do in the Hawkes bay area. But the treat of being showered on by a squirter made it worthwhile. Actually it may have already been worthwhile :-)
Had a fet fair which didn't go well as far as sales was concerned but was OK apart from that.
Got MyLady's Xmas do this W/E, hope that goes well.

So I returned.
Things are much more settled this time.
We start and end the day with me prone kissing ML's feet. I sleep in my collar. I am her slave, her sub and her partner. Life is good. I do receive punishments for uncalled for arousel and other things but I also receive treats.
It's not 24/7 but can be envoked at any time so is it 24/7. A conundrum.

Various issues but the big one was that if we stayed together the would be a wedding. Don't do them! So was asked to leave at 22.00 in the rain. She's bitter. I'm sad not bitter and I lost more. Still there were good times and a little play. All part of lifes rich tapestry and if I return there is a woman I have my eye on. Hope she waits for me. Don't think she's scene....Yet! LOL.
In the first 5 months here I went to several do's, started a relationship with a lifestyle Domme avec dungeon, met the awesome SB, SS, WL, MV many more and so much more beside. OK seriously thinking of returning to that shithole called Britian but my cup is far more than half full. I should never loose sight of that.

Since last entry left Singapore and Bali now back in NZ. Close to the one who matters. There have been many ups and down's so far and many stages of becoming committed partners. I think the one that made it real more than any other was when ML wrote "so this is it". A simple phrase that just hit the right buttons. That was the moment that really tightened the leash. I know we will have more bad moments while we sort the rules out but also know we will work through them.
The hard work begins.

Which w/e? Had bbq on the beach on the first one. All good stuff. Then it was down to TM outside CHC for the second. That went well I think. Painful in places but then I'm a sook (sp) apparently. Made some new aquaintences. All in all a great way to spend a W/E.
Now in Singapore. Leaving NZ wasn't easy and leaving ML less easy still but if it gives me focus this is good. Shame but I sent a txt that was read the wrong way. Started an atmosphere but I see how she read it and it was my bad writing. Hopefully that has been sorted now.

FP house. Which suits me rather well. Had good time in Turangi. No fish but did get to wet my flies. Water was cold so small flies the order of the day!
Now getting on with chores which don't feel at all like chores. Things are moving forward with the relationship. Yes I know a few weeks ago we both thought we'd end up killing each other. Hey things change and the minor inconvenience of death may be worth it.

Had a suggestion to meet at a lodge for a weekend of fishing and getting to know each other. Well I tried to say no but somehow yes came out rather enthusiastically. So hopefully a chilled, snuggly weekend. Maybe get to know each other properly.
I see a person under the person I'm shown. I really like the visible person but the other is better still.

Looks like we're going to see. Not going to be easy but who said life should be? She's scared, I'm scared. Fear turns to aggression so easily when it should turn into mutual support.
Put flight back so I can go to some do where I'm ML's subject. Whatever that means. That's two lots of fear then. But I'll be there for her birthday.
Then it's got to be Bali. Get the cash up again.

for a while with SB. All ab fab. No tying down but then she doesn't have to. My turn to recover. She is so responsible. Said she wouldn't use the single tail on someone until she had more practice because of the potential damage. And I was very impressed that she stuck to her guns for at least 10........ nano seconds after an offer to christen it came up.
Apparently Willow found bumping into me at ML's highly amusing or "I've never seen her laugh like that" as I was told.

Gotta tell her I met someone...Shit! I think she'll be fine but if I've hurt her that's not good. She's a really great person and I'm lucky to have met her.
Maybe she'll just tie me down screaming "your mine Bitch" whilst beating the shit out of me. That would be one way out of this. I wouldn't have to think then.
God if they both took that approach. No don't even think about it!

It was so good to hear her voice. I got all sloppy. Just wish she'd get her stories straight. First it's "wanted to hear your voice" then it's "just wanted to see how you are" lol. Not sure where her or my head is but go with the flow. My emotions say go for it, my logic says be careful. Think that maybe where she is as well.
Say's why don't men talk about how they feel? Coz when I do you get all "oh for gods sake" DUH! Oh she is sweet.
Think my comments about the atmosphere in Pomme land may be unfair. I've not given it much of a chance and the events I've attended here have been compact friendly do's. Also I'm in Taoist mode.

I'm making assumptions about the last night that didn't happen. If they are correct a potentially really beautiful moment has been lost all because of dummy spitting.
What a waste I hope you feel it was worth it. These moments are few and far between. Tick your lists while I go with my feelings. No bitterness just sadness at a lost moment.
Re-reading her email makes me think my reply was too short and didn't address certain comments about me that are incorrect. But I will try to leave it or it may end up in a slanging match.
Move onwards and upwards or downwards to Welly for a drink with SB. A dose of "You're still alive aren't you?...Stop complaining bitch!" will sort me out. I hadn't realised the importance of the pendant she gave me. Maybe I missed something in which case I've f...ed up ........Again.
She's like Tigger on speed.
Shit if I've f...ed up, she's got that bullwhip....Oh crap! Still if it doesn't kill me lol.

Well some people got thrashed but not me :-( .
Dynamics seemed fine and had a really great time. WL was there.
NYD seemed to go well. Best not mention whips and needles to BL me thinks. Didn't bother correcting their assumption that I was a needle virgin. Suited me for some reason, can't think why.
All was fine until the evening when there were crossed wires. I'm sure I mentioned I had an early coach booked but maybe not. Then the atmosphere changed. Got a lift to the hostel and asked that I might have a txt when she got home but no txt. There's that atmosphere again! Oh well we'll see. It's not going to tarnish a fab seasonal time.

Looks like this is not for the long term. ML's decision and one with which I totally concur. We could well end up killing each other. But really glad I came and had fab time. Just feel there has been a bit of an atmosphere the last two days. Shame coz my sub duties have not been required lol. I don't want this to end on bad vibes.
Now there she was waiting for some people to turn up to collect something. Up they turned and who should it be? There was Scrumpy (coz of his origins), Willow (er Duffy?) and Spooky. Well you could have knocked me down with a howitzer. After this I felt compelled to mention SB. This may well not have gone in my favour but had to be done.
Speaking of SB sounds like her cracking is coming on. My whereabouts over this seasonal time will no doubt get back to her. Hope it doesn't hurt her but she left me with the impression we are just mates and she was looking in another direction so I felt little binding us together.
Off to hostel for a couple of days then back for the NY party. If slave services are not required this could be a bad dynamic. We shall see and maybe keep a bolt hole open. Mentioned my whereabouts to SB and feel better for doing so. She was cool with it. Not sure if I should be happy or pissed off by that lol.
CP and I got crossed wires again. Think it's sorted now but will happen again as we have a fundemental difference in viewing things.

Just got the call to attend ML so flights booked.
Oh so she just snapped her fingers to see how keen I was? And that was the only reason? Not convinced lol.
It should be good. What to do about Xmas pressie though. I don't know her well. Shit I'm useless on the pressie front.
Well in a few days we should see if there is anything there. Providing we can at the very least come out as good friends then the trip has been worth while.
Talked it through with CP god I love that woman (in rather a lot of ways. Not all of them totally innocent).

OK ML has me by the short and.....Well she would if....... Lets not go there. Is this the start of something? Have to find out. A few people involved that may get hurt and that scares me. Already thinking "ok can't stay in NZ yet so Gold Coast or Bali to get access to my owner". I don't want D/S as a basis, that comes and goes. There has to be a foundation. So lets sort that out..Is there one?
I need to build and need to build with the right person. Maybe this is my time but it has to be hers as well or it's nothing.
Shit, she's confused, am I just here to help her sort her head out? That's not a problem.
Only one person I can rely on to pick up the pieces and that's CP and why should she?
Anyway this is all a long way off, we may end up hating the sight of each other. It's just me letting my imagination and feelings loose.

First party. Now that was fun. Saw some faces from munches. Got taken under the wing of ML. Have WL to thank for that. And a big thankyou it is too.
Wasn't at all nervous come the time. This was helped by the organisers arriving late and meeting SS (Sub Sub) from the Nelson bunch. Had an absolute blast. Was actually nervious when serving drinks and dinner. Strange when given my political persuasion I'd have burnt the ruling class at the stake.
There was one really beautiful scene and other scenes that came close. Comparing it to a club in Pomme I just felt so much more warmth from other people. Far less pretentious but thats the way I feel about this place in general.
Mustn't forget SS owes me a drink. Doesn't really but I'm claiming one.
SB txt'd to say she loved the pressie. I'm so chuffed about that.

Finished my bull whip and got the guy to make one more. That's a Xmas pressie for SB. Somehow forgot to mention how it might be used ;-) Bit nervious of the things now I've been given a demonstration of what they can do. Oh well if it doesn't kill me lol.
On the subject of pressies trying to sort one out for CP but not got a reply yet. Bugger!
Looks like it could be an expensive Xmas. Oh well you're a long time dead. That's the Daoist in me.

Popped back to Wellington for a couple of days. Hooked up with SB and went to the slosh. Not my turn to recover this time lol. But I still bare the marks of the last time she was in a playful mood.
Met up with MV at last. She'd been in a really bad way. The wait was worth it. She doesn't play nice, which of course may mean she does. Oh the dichotomy. What is it about my right bollock that keeps getting tweaked? Copped for a cane this time. It's going to have to learn to keep out the way.

Met up with WL (whip lady), well best I can come up with at short notice coz she... Oh I'll get to that. Anyway got blown out yesterday because it was the final of Australian Master Chef, Julie won BTW (I wanted Poo to win. Damn now people will know I watched it. What sort of wierdo will they think me?). Back to today, had coffee then was taken for a view of the bay from a lookout point. After that down to Ocean Spa. Bit of scram then a stroll down the beach, her with a whip hence the above. All very innocent, it was whip cracking on the waterfront. Well apart from a few practice shots on some guy she had handy including a totally accidental tweek to the right bollock which required some readjustment even through jeans.
Really cool afternoon/evening, great company.
Just hope things get better for her, she's not in a good place.

Young lady (The type with a very large clit and external overies). "got a light?"
Me "No. Haven't needed one of those for 16 years"
Young lady "want a blow job?"
Me "No thank you"
Young lady, (muttered) "bet you haven't had one of those in 16 years either".
Ohhh Ouch! Well she won't be getting my custom. Ya boo!

Oh why is everything in storage?!!!
Certain aspects of my being are making some possibilities less attractive. There is little play available on certain continents!
There is usually a slosh where I'm going. Sent email to see if it's on. Got email back saying nope but she was happy to meet for a coffee. Ahhh!
Even with my buggered lugs I'm sure I keep hearing a woman having orgasms in a room close by. Now that is taking the piss. Here's me with the combination of deprivation and depravation and I have to listen to that!

Somehow I was waiting for the follow up. Nope there wasn't one. Either SB's bad phrasiology or her evil sence of humour. Not that there's anything heavy anyway. Just a bit of play between mates. But interaction is a complicated thing. I've never gotten the hang of it (in common with most men I reckon).
BL had a blowout. Got txt saying she needed to use my card. Then another saying ta and an x so maybe she's forgiven me. For what I'm not sure. Back to that interaction thing again.
Women are the only one's I know who can hang up on a mobile and you can hear them slam it down. It's impossible but they can manage it. I'm beginning to wonder if sensory deprivation is the only answer. Problem is I think they'd still get through somehow! Telepathy?
That's another thing when you know somethings wrong, so you say "what's wrong"..."NOTHING!"...This goes on for days then they tell you. Why not just say? "Well I thought you'd have realised". What that you found an issue that wasn't there. What bloody chance do we stand?!
No wonder shemales are in demand. Right bits and bobs, right (male) mentality and they don't have monthly, followed by menapausal mood swings. Crap that logic is too good I might talk myself into it. Nooooooo!

Oh er. Was going to txt SB but before I did she sent me a txt. Ahhh warms the cockles of my heart nearly as much as she warmed my back. The marks have nearly gone a week later. Er nope just checked. Bit interesting getting into hot tub and scuba gear in public. Said she had new paddle or was it flogger. Who cares ;-)

Er BL didn't like my comments on here. Didn't take it at all well.
Best accept I must have the problems and move on. Will practice coming to terms with my issues, hopefully on a regular basis.
Spoke to CP . I think it was decided hep, tet and maybe rabies shots might be a good idea. She doesn't think I have issues, which must mean she has issues. Looks like there are a lot of us with issues.
So if there are a lot with similar issues and they hang out together then, to them, it's all the others who have issues. Hey I'm normal, it really is the others. Glad I got that sorted, feel better now.

Had drink with SB to say that I was off on walk about. Seemed rude not to! Must be getting stronger lol.
Having problems trying to explain certain things about my lifestyle to a friend, BL (her phrase for herself). She doesn't understand therefore I'm the one with problems. May have to send her on a jaunt if she would sit back open her mind and listen. She does angel cards and past life...AND I'VE GOT ISSUES?!!! If the grin I have from ear to ear is me having issues then long may they continue.
If you take all the people who kneel down before nothing and chant and that includes soccer, Harry Connick Jr and Beatles fans as well as the god squad then there are a lot before me in the issues queue.

Many of the same peeps there including the second young lady I'd met previously. What to call her. Have decided Switch Bitch because the first time we met she was thinking about it and has since proved she can be an absolute one, I think she'd approve. She's one of these "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" peeps. Ended up in her area because of the train so we met up and had a few more drinks in the pub with her friends. Then a few more. Ummm interesting in a good way.

Another one of those are they the right crowd moments. May or may not be downstairs and I had to look for blue and black balloons. Of which they'd run out. This is where Spooky comes in, I'll just paste it over...Sort of
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Good but spooky night. I'd been to the doctors in the suburb where I'm staying some days before. There was a woman there, nothing strange in that. Tuesday went to town and whilst walking past a resturant thought I caught, out the corner of my eye, a woman smile at me. So rather than step back and look I went round the block. Well seemed less obvious.... Yeh right! It was the same woman, so on to the venue and guess who turned up? She went downstairs with her partner, this being where I was headed. Spooky.
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That was actually very lucky for me since it helped break the ice a bit. Spent most of the time talking to her. Then got talking to another young woman. I didn't approach them. Wouldn't do that. But it was very noticable that they had no hesitation in talking to me. No that is not some arrogant comment but an observation on how they seem less battle hardened than the females in Britian (as in being constantly hounded by men). This openess is also very apparent on the streets where people, including young women, think nothing of saying hello as they pass. If you smiled at one in blighty you'd be on the sex offenders register pronto! Anyway good night with a very civilised end time.

piss off a domme.... Call her honey bunch. Hey I've never met her it was an email exchange. Got an "if you can't address Me properly" i.e. Mistress. Yeh right! Outside of session with someone I don't know. Get real. Still for the better if that's her modus operandi. Just love all this upper case stuff. Since found out I'm not the only one who doesn't see things totally her way.
Passion Paws when I land in Blighty I'm just going to have to present myself for you to "fuck right up". None of this mistress stuff just lots of (my) screaming.
Have rather a lot of catching up when I pop back. May have to rent a house or camper near Guildford...Yum! I'm feeling the force pulling me. CP know's what I mean.

Strolled down to the appointed place, a bar. Now that's novel. Had to look for an object on the table. A quite common object. OK yeh and if I'm wrong?
Oh before this it had come to my attention that the large glass window panes were too clean. Don't ask, yes I did have a beer in my hand at the time, the first one I hasten to add and yes I did feel like a total pillock!
Back to the problem in hand... What to say? "Hi is this the munch?", nope, how about "is there a relevance to the object on the table?" nope. So I'll just sit here like a lemon and earwig. Words drifted over like "last month" and a few more pointed remarks plus no one else had said object on their table and it was over half an hour since kick off. Yep got it right. Phew!
Pleasent enough way to spend the afternoon. Most of the talk was about sailing seem to remember.

A few emails went back and forth. I was to meet a woman at a bar at a certain time. She would have the build described and blonde hair. That's if the hair colour hadn't changed as it was, apparently, prone to do on a regular basis. Also it may or may not be her depending on if others turned up to suss me out instead. All so covert I would have rolled my collar up and hid in the shadows if I'd had a gabberdeen mac on. Quite Harry Lime in a way. Anyway as it happened she came over and said "hi are you Boris". That's my hiding in shadows non de plume. Thank gawd one of us had some common sense or we could have been there all night hiding!
A little while later another couple turned up and off we went to "The hole in the wall club". Well it wasn't really. At least that was one interview passed. Fun night and very friendly open crowd. Also got to watch some "toy" making.
There was a book that had been put together by one of the crowd so I got a signed copy for T' of Bath. It's her kind of thing and I admit to having a shufti myself. I do hope she likes it.
Near the start of the evening everyone sat around and stated their persuasion. Felt like I imagine an AA meeting to be. At the evenings end my meeter was kind enough to give the old soak a lift home to save his knees on the climb.
It was a lovely introduction to NZ munching despite being booze free :-( .